I found a website with some useless facts (bold ones) today and I started thinking how is that compared to India? (and some own thoughts)
1. In Kentucky, 50 percent of the people who get married for the first time are teenagers.
-In India people get married because their parents tell them to
2. Einstein couldn’t speak fluently when he was nine. His parents thought he might be retarded.
I met a 42 year old woman that couldn’t even speak one language. Jesus was her father and mother Mary was her mother.
3. In Los Angeles, there are fewer people than there are automobiles.
In Mumbai there are more taxis then there are people in the second biggest town in Iceland (over 40.000 taxis)
4. About a third of all Americans flush the toilet while they’re still sitting on it.
About all Indians use their left hand to was their behind and many grow their left hand pinkie nail to extreme lengths to scoop their “shiat”
5. You’re more likely to get stung by a bee on a windy day than in any other weather.
In India there is only one weather, fucking way to hot, humid as nowhere else, always sunny and always over 30°c
6. An average person laughs about 15 times a day.
Thank God I’m not an average person, I laugh all the time, what does that make me?
7. Research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.
HAHAHA Bullshit, mosquitoes are attracted to everything that moves and has blood inside
8. Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet in the air.
That’s NOTHING Michael Jordan was able to make a slam dunk from the penalty line in the basket court. THAT is high (and long)
9. The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.
Ahh. That’s why the ladies are more attracted to me when I’m at the night clubs! I thought it was because the alcohol (and because I’m hot like that)
10. A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at over 600 m.p.h.
Driving from Colaba to Bandra, Mumbai (20km) can take anywhere between 30 min to 3 hours depending on the traffic. That’s between 25 km/h and 8 km/h
11. The condom – made originally of linen – was invented in the early 1500’s.
The people in India are not that keen on condoms, having in mind that they are a billion people. In 2050 they estimate that they’re going to be 1.6 billion. Or that their still using the original condoms passed on from generation to generation, with more holes in them than a 40 year old American woman’s diaphragm in heat.
12. The Neanderthals brain was bigger than yours is.
That’s why I use a computer to be able to think as creatively as the Neanderthal. Although Isn’t it so that they think that we only use about 10% of our brain (which I by the way think is bullshit, I use much much more) How many percentage did they use?
13. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn’t wear pants.
Yes but why does he still were a towel around his waste when he comes from the shower? (Indians bathe in the sea fully clothed, so Donald would probably be shot on sight if he was at an Indian beach)
14. The average bank teller loses about $250 every year.
At what? Gambling? Cockfights? Drinking? Dropping coins when stepping out of their car? WHERE GOD DAMN IT? WHERE?
15. Bubble gum contains rubber.
So are you able to use that instead of a condom if you’re desperate? That’s probably the reason why the Indians are so many, they’ve all been misinformed
16. You can only smell 1/20th as well as a dog.
Good gadininlg God how I feel sorry for the poor dogs here in India. At some times I’m close to puking when I walk close to a few not so nice places here in Mumbai. That might just be the reason why the dogs look so thin and under nursed because they cant hold anything down.
17. Most American car horns honk in the key of F.
Most of the car horns in India should be disabled because of to much usage. Sometimes they honk just to honk. Some kinda fetich they have. Having a car without a horn in India is like having a car without brakes in the rest of the world.
18. Every time Beethoven sat down to write music, he poured ice water over his head.
Every time I try to write music I have to pour water over my head to realise that I have no musical talent.
Got any more useless facts that I can compare to India?